With separation and divorce, it sometimes happens that when you have begun to talk to your partner, you get to a certain point when you realise that you can go no further: you’re going nowhere. It seems that you simply can’t agree on anything.

Essential to moving on with the process of separation and divorce is understanding that becoming unstuck from this situation can be achieved overall by working together. Such is true in both family matters and business affairs, and in any relationship where both parties depend on each other. An example of this is when two people are parenting apart.

Moving Towards a Mutually Beneficial Outcome for Separation and Divorce

If you are fixated by a perfect or ideal outcome of the talks with your partner about separation and divorce, this can prevent any kind of real resolution. If you achieve an agreement in this way, it might well cause resistance, further disagreement or further resentment in the future. Conversely, if you place the focus too heavily on what your partner wants, you yourself might end up being the one feeling resentful down the line

Is the overall strategy  generally speaking to achieve an outcome where you feel you have lost and your partner has won, or vice versa?.   In both the short and long term you acting ineffectively. Down the line this can result in a great deal of stress and heartache.

With Separation and Divorce, you need to Improve Your Negotiation

In order to strategise towards the achievement of a “win-win” outcome with separation and divorce, try engaging in the following activity.

On a piece of paper, write down the key points that you want to discuss with your partner. Making an explicit and clear itemisation in this way will enable you to consider all of the possible options that would satisfy both you and your partner. Take into account the following tips when doing this:

  • Identify both your and your partner’s key issues and concerns
  • Try, try and try to separate the person form the problem. Make a true and genuine effort to comprehend, understand and express the needs and concerns of your partner
  • Identify and confirm what results would constitute a solution acceptable on both sides
  • Through discussions arrive at an identification of possible new options
  • Aim for a mutually beneficial/ “win-win” solution

Claire Buck is a Life Coach with a wealth of experience in both business and life/family matters. If you feel you need help at this very difficult time of year with problems relating to the end of your relationship, she can help you to:

REGAIN YOUR SENSE OF PURPOSE – We often get so bogged down in trying to live up to the expectations of others that we forget to think about what we actually want. Life coaching can help you regain your sense of purpose and empower you to redefine your route in life, overcome the obstacles and come up with solutions that work for you.

CLEAR THE PATH – Get rid of the emotional clutter and better understand what you want and how you can achieve it. Holding on to negative thoughts and allowing self-doubt to hold you back could be all that is standing between you and the life you want. A life coach can empower you to get clarity on what you need, what you want and how to clear the way in order to get there.

BECOME MORE SELF AWARE – A life coach can give you the tools you need to explore your inner self and work out who you really are. Being more self-aware empowers you to build better relationships, identify what matters to you and understand your values. By re-evaluating yourself you can create a more fulfilling life.

INCREASE YOUR CONFIDENCE – Empower yourself to leave your comfort zone. Lack of confidence can be a huge factor in our unhappiness. By increasing your confidence you will be better equipped to make decisions, stretch yourself and seek out the opportunities to achieve your goals.

IDENTIFY MANAGEABLE STEPS -Sometimes a goal can seem so big that you can’t see how you will ever achieve it. A life coach can help you break it down and identify the smaller steps you need to take in order to get there. What can you do today that will bring you closer to your goal tomorrow? Let your life coach help you overcome the hurdles between you and the finish line.

ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS FASTER -Perhaps you are making progress in achieving what you want in life but are frustrated about how much time it is taking? A life coach can help you maximise your time and focus on what is needed to get to your destination quicker.

Claire is beginning a series of group sessions for entrepreneurs and professionals experiencing problems relating to separation and divorce with the beginning of the new year. You will be with like-minded people who are experiencing similar issues to yourself. For your free discovery session with Claire, please make contact

Still unsure? – read what Claire’s clients have to say about how she has helped them

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